Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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