he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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