Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize