He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I lost the right to judge tonight
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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