bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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