my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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