I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
