took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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