just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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