I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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