Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
