Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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