i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
