I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I am midnight drunk by noon
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
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