i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
