the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
