i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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