girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
