I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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