is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
