Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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