okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
