It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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