Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
