yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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