He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
