This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I could have mohawked her pubes.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
