Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
