i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
