I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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