I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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