Is it normal to miss your booty call?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
bring money and cleavage
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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