I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
