Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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