i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize