I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
