ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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