GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
