i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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