I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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