So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
