Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
