rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
