i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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