Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
