I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
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Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
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I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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