I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
