Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
