I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
