Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It was like giving head to a cactus.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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