If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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