My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
