Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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