I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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