I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
