for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
