She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
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