I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize