Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
