well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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