STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
