just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
